I consider myself to be a woman of great faith and tremendous gratitude. It has led to a life even I can no longer recognize. A life full of rich experiences – ones that I had yet to even dream of if you can imagine that.
I choose to follow God whole heartily during the pandemic – resigning my job and stepping out in business, and in faith, only because I heard the voice of God giving clear instruction to do so. In hindsight, I realize it appeared on the surface to be a suicide mission. I had been laid off…twice, as many of us had during 2020, but brought back each time as promised by my employer.
I remember that day, I had just being furloughed for the 2nd time, sitting at my desk starring at a blank wall, when I heard God speak in the deepest parts of me… “How long will you allow others to dictate whether you work or not?” That was the question God asked, but really it was also the answer. I lived alone, single, no savings what-so-ever, I’ve always lived pay-check to pay-check. I could not understand what I was being asked. How could I possibly quit my job? It seemed impossible! At the same time, I could not shake what I clearly heard – it was profound!
As I was leaving my office that night, I sensed that I was leaving for the last time. Sure, I was given a return to work date a month later, but I somehow knew I would no longer be accepting that way of life ever again. A life where as God put it “allowing someone else to dictate whether I work or not”. I was currently working for a Hotel which had a historic theater attached to it, by no coincidences at all, Alicia Keys was in that very theater shooting a Christmas commercial. In those last minutes as I was exiting the building, I could hear her singing “If I Ain’t Got You”, the lyrics resonated deeply. It was everything I was internally expressing to God…”I don’t want nothing at all if it ain’t you!” I knew without a doubt in that very moment I would not be coming back, but where would I go? What would I do?
I went home that night, crawled in bed and stayed there for the next two days. I could not understand what I was feeling. It was not quite depression, not quite sadness, there was no worry nor anxiety. I was calm, still and just being. God offered clarification – “you are mourning the release of old energy”. I could literally sense God in bed with me, simply holding space while I process all I was shedding. His presence was warm, tremendously gentle, still, non-rushing, almost as if he was saying “we can stay here as long as you like” “until you’re ready to move on”. In fact, I know now, that is exactly what he was communicating.
During those 48 hrs spent grieving, God led me to watch two incredible documentaries. One was “Love & Bananas” an elephant story. I remembered being powerfully moved by the journey of a 70 year old captive elephant being rescued in Thailand. I did not realize it at the time, but God was giving me a glimpse of my new life. Preparing me for what will come to pass. Two years later, God led me to an elephant sanctuary in Thailand. While there, I engaged with, embraced and learned more about these rescued regal giants up close. I would have never thought during my time of mourning, God would be equipping me, so gently, for missions he would later use me to fulfill.
After those two days spent in bed, I was ready to rise on the third day. I simply asked God “where to now?” and God said “we go to New York!” While in NY, I was being fed massive encouragement from a dear friend whom spoke life into me as I awaited being called back to work. During that month, my friend shared her experiences and triumphs of when she stepped out in faith and stepped into entrepreneurship for herself. She shared how God caught her mid-air and made her a huge success by the end of her very first year in business.
Her words seemed to massage my soul. I could hear Gods voice blended with hers. I felt like I was being soothed into the next transition of life. Being prepared for thee most significant leap of faith I would ever take. It would take a month of building up my courage for me to finally close my eyes and step fully into uncertainty. It was all the encouragement I needed, as I listened to God speak from the experiences of my dear friend.
When the call finally came from the Hotel asking for my return, I had enough courage stored up to say “I’m choosing God this time around” which meant, I’m choosing the unknown. God says “If I’m leading you out on a ledge, that is the safest place to be.“
I resigned my comfortable position at that hotel after 7 years of service and by my 7th day of unemployment God caught me in mid air too! He brought a huge piece of business which instantly doubled the income I was previously earning, all within days of going into business for myself!
With my new business also came new freedom. Time freedom, financial freedom, freedom to do all the things I’ve always wanted to but never could. Most importantly, the leap of faith brought tremendous growth! Growth with my belief in God. Growth in my intimate relationship with God. Growth in trusting when I hear God speak, which organically turned into a fountain of blessings that flooded my life. Blessings that included adventures around the world…Thailand and the elephant sanctuary being only one of them.
God has been tremendous! Actually, he is far, far better than he says he is. There are no words on earth that could describe the massiveness, the vastness, the greatness, the softness that God is! My intention is that you allow yourself to become brave enough to experience his greatness for yourself. The only way is to let go and let God take the lead. I promise he will never disappoint.